The Mediator Archetype

Known as the go-between, the peacemaker, the middleman, the negotiator, the ambassador, the diplomat, the moderator and the liaison, the mediator archetype plays a powerful role in families, communities, businesses and nations. This level-headed force saves humanity from more disharmony, violence and war than we can imagine. The mediator archetype is part of the glue that holds society together.

The Need for Harmony

By definition someone who has the mediator archetype is “a person who attempts to make people involved in a conflict come to an agreement.” More than anything, the mediator craves harmony. She just wants everyone to get along and agree on things. Arguments tear at the very fabric of her being. In fact, even the hint of opposition can cause her to unravel completely. The mediator finds herself in deep trouble when she starts to guess what everyone is thinking and imagine the worst.

The mediator so desires harmony that she gives up who she is, and what she wants, thinks or feels in an attempt to facilitate consensus. Often someone with the mediator will tell you “I don’t care” and/or that “I don’t have an opinion”. This lack of agenda can be an honest self-less act or deceptive self-destructive choice. Usually the mediator does care. She cares to see a resolution. Her opinion is that everyone should get along.

Talents of the Mediator Archetype

The mediator archetype carries the ability to truly listen to opposing points of view. She helps others feel heard, which automatically quells tensions. The simple act of listening stops the decent into shouting matches and fist fights. The mediator wields her talent for listening which puts her, paradoxically, in charge of the situation. The quiet, composed listener holds sway over the screaming lunatic.

Patience is another virtue of the mediator. She is willing to wait until the resolution reveals itself. She understands that forcing the issue and trying to impose a solution too early can cause a complete breakdown of negotiations.

In the light aspect, the mediator does not lose hope even in the most irreconcilable circumstances. When the fissure between two factions deepens she doesn’t give up. Sometimes things need to get worse before they get better. The mediator is the container for hope for harmony in the face of great adversity.

The mediator carries the gift of great observational skills. She is able to perceive what is going on in someone beyond what their words say. She reads body language, nuance in tone of voice, emotional fields, and energetic frequencies with great sensitivity. To be in the midst of a situation that’s about to “go nuclear” means that adrenaline and gut instincts fuel her sharp insights.

And lastly, she can decipher the exact right timing to ask for a compromise, to back off, or to empathize. Adept at communication, the mediator in the light aspect is a powerful force.

Mediating in the Family

By nature, the vast majority of middle children find themselves in the role of the mediator at some point or another. Being a middle child inherently means that there are multiple points of view from older and younger siblings as well as from parents. However, the oldest child can become the “adult” that mediates arguments between younger brothers and sisters.

Either way, it is worth considering your role in your family of origin. Were you the peacemaker? Did you grow tired of everyone wanting different things? Were you happiest when everyone was on board with a single activity? Not all middle children have the mediator archetype as a lifelong pattern, but those who do see it show up early on in the family dynamic.

Complications with the Mediator

The shadow of the mediator manifests in a dependence on the happiness of others. Her inner peace relies on the state of her outer world. She wants everyone to be content. She finds frustration when trying to control and steer everyone else’s experience. It is almost always possible to find one dissatisfied participant or one thing someone is unhappy with. Any state of harmony will eventually cycle into chaos. Therefore, happiness for the disempowered mediator becomes an unattainable state.

The mediator’s hidden agenda to have a peaceful world and community around her can cause her to be impatient, critical and irritable. She can lack a tolerance for differing opinions, a abhorrence of conflict, and an overall disdain for the human race. An apathy takes over that walls her off from compassionate listening. At worst, she can refuse to listen at all. The hope that helped her in the light can dissolve in the shadow causing a deep disillusionment with the world.

Astrological Sign of Libra: Balance

The astrological sign of Libra best represents the mediator archetype. The Libra’s symbol of the scales reflects the qualities of balance, equality and harmony. Justice and fairness are additional associations with Libra.

Any mediation requires a fair assessment of both sides and a drive to balance the scales so everyone wins. The adage “win-win situation” is a mantra for the energy of Libra. The belief that there is always a way through that benefits all parties involved speaks to both Libra and the mediator.

The Inner Peacemaker

Remember that the motivation to find balance and equality is not just about mediating between people. The mediator can, and should, be active within yourself. You can balance work and play and the need to serve others and care for yourself. With the help of the mediator you can honor the side of you that wants to retreat and the side that wants to dive into the midst of humanity’s mire.

By turning your attention inward, you can find balance between all the aspects of your being. Acknowledging that you do have feelings, opinions, and needs changes the game. Allowing the mediator in you to see to the fair treatment, the judicious hearing, of all your voices can bring a deep tranquility. When tending to your own inner harmony and by treating yourself fairly, true peace is yours.

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The Hermit Archetype

First and foremost, you must know that not every introvert has the hermit archetype.  According to Susan Cain in her book , one-third to one-half of all people are introverts. If being an introvert meant having the hermit archetype, then one out of every two or three people you know would classify as a hermit.

There are different percentages of introversion depending on which personality test you take. You can be 5% introverted or 98% introverted. Introversion is a personality trait that describes your preference in social situations, but is not an archetype.

Any archetype can express introverted behavior, albeit some are more adept at it than others such as the artist, sage and crone. The hermit archetype likely has an exceptionally high percentage of introversion, but this is just a small fraction of how to understand who is a hermit.

An archetype isn’t just about how you act. It is about how you love, the environment you find yourself in, the life you are given, the karma you carry, the history you repeat, and the nature of your relationships. An archetype determines the style of introversion or extroversion. An archetype has a much, much wider field of influence than a personality trait.

Everyone Visits the Hermit Archetype

There are archetypes that travel with us from birth to death. Then there are other archetypes we visit from time to time, but don’t have a lifelong, everyday relationship with. This is the same way that our relationships with spirit animals works.

The hermit archetype is one we all visit because he is inherent in the cycles of nature and transformation. Every year has a winter, and every journey of transformation has a cocoon time (or involution stage) where turning inward is necessary for growth. One spirit animal that is familiar to the hermit archetype is bear spirit animal because of her annual hibernation. Introspection and reflection are necessary ingredients for life.

Whether hermit time is by choice or by force, we all encounter it. We retreat inward after a devastating trauma. When losing a job or falling ill we have no other option but to stay home.

To determine if you embody the hermit archetype, look for a habitual state of hermitage. Look for the ability to always create solitude no matter if you’re in the city or the woods. On the other hand, do you continually end up alone, regardless of choice? To call the hermit archetype your own, you must find that you are fated to be the hermit rather than visitor to his cyclical blessings.

The Hermitage

Every hermit has a hermitage. The hermit archetype won’t complain about having to get away. He will simply cloister himself into a corner of the room, the building, the house or the property because it is a priority. He has no choice. It is who he is.

Time for introspection and cultivating self-awareness is as critical to the hermit archetype as air to breathe. He’s not escaping just to hear himself think and have a rest from the chaos. This archetype is NOT about getting away from stress.

The hermit is retreating to come into touch with that which only silence can bring. This archetype has a deep, intimate appreciation for silence. The hermit archetype does not fill the silent space with busy work. He is more comfortable being versus doing. The hermit is the quintessential Buddhist monk able to sit in non-action for hours.

If you are considering the hermit archetype for yourself, it is VERY important that you honestly assess your relationship with silence. Are you comfortable being alone and in utter silence doing nothing for DAYS on end, not just hours? Most people fill the silence with knitting, writing, praying, chanting, etc. Endless thoughts plague most people. Hermits leave the container empty.

The Shadow of the Hermit

In the extreme shadow, the hermit becomes a defensive recluse that wants nothing to do with others. He suffers from agoraphobia and refuses to leave the house. The extreme shadow hermit is violently judgmental of others, won’t consider taking a single friend, and has a deep distrust in humanity. Any friend he may have gets under his skin.

This deep distrust in humanity breeds a distrust in his own nature, and soon the hermit so loathes himself that he is the epitome of what it means to live under a rock. The shadow hermit will stop caring for his home and his body and both soon fall into decay. He’s forgotten what it is like to love and to live, and he attempts to freeze time with his own suffering. Often he blames a past trauma or loss for his insistence on hiding.

In the less extreme expression, the shadow hermit disengages from life and society having little use for both. The shadow hermit denies help to those in need, won’t accept help from others, and/or refuses help oneself. There is an unhealthy self involvement and he thinks he can provide all he needs for himself. This narcissism negates the benefit of self-awareness that the gifts of the hermit can bring.

The Gifts of the Hermit Archetype

The gifts of the hermit archetype include an acute understanding of oneself that becomes a high level of intelligence about the cosmos. Through studying one’s own nature impersonally, the hermit enters into the whole of humanity. There is an honest interest in the workings of the universe, a gentle wisdom about life.

The light side of the hermit entails a compassionate curiosity concerning society and history. This expression of the hermit delights in and treasures life rather than shuns it. Life to the light aspect of the hermit is a gift not to be squandered.

The hermit archetype carries a talent for retreating INTO life rather than away from it. Through slowing down and honoring what is, the hermit is able to find a deep appreciation beyond ordinary human beings. A lack of patience for the impatience of others is less judgmental and more instructional. An intolerance for distraction helps those with the hermit do a job well and keeps the rest of us on track. Spending time with the hermit helps us all slow down, be mindful and know gratitude.

A wonderful, slow study of the life of a hermit can be enjoyed in a collection of Trappist monk, Thomas Merton’s daily journal entries. The book is called A Year with Thomas Merton: Daily Meditations from his Journals.

The Healer Archetype

The healer archetype and the wounded healer archetype are extremely popular these days. It is really astounding how many people feel called to and covet these patterns of power. The upside is that there are more helpers out there healing humans, animals and the planet – maybe more than ever before. On the other hand, the popularity highlights the gifts, talents and light of the healer archetype while denying the possible destructive nature.

The light aspect of the healer is the ability to channel healing energy for others. Healing energy comes in countless manifestations, too many to name, but here are a few examples. A healer can assist a patient through an emotional crisis and bring him or her to peace. A doctor channels healing by being an excellent diagnostician and prescribing a lasting cure. A massage therapist not only brings relaxation, but also helps the body move into balance. A healer in the light aspect is what we all long for in times of great need.

Someone with the healer archetype may be born with the ability to heal or may have to learn it. The healer’s confidence in her knowledge and skill is critical to the effectiveness of the healing.

To heal means to make whole, to alleviate, and to repair. The true mark of a healer is the ability to create, catalyze, and/or channel lasting, positive change for their patients. A healer works on behalf of others and delivers the gift of health. A healer can be one who mends broken spirits, minds, bodies, and/or hearts. The key piece here is that the healer is changing the condition of the patient, she is acting on him. This is a profound, humbling and seductive power to have over others.

The Shadow Healer Archetype

The healer archetype carries a good deal of authority. Patients come to the healer in a weakened state asking for help. This automatically sets up a power imbalance that, if not properly managed, can cause massive damage. The healer is tasked with using her power wisely. The shadow healer archetype surfaces when the healer either gets over confident or, conversely, loses faith.

A person seduced by the power of the shadow healer archetype can get wildly over confident. She will claim to have a remedy that cures every ailment, hurt and disease. This healer knows best. She might take all the credit when healing happens. The over zealous healer preaches to the patient and stops listening. She is more interested in helping herself feel better, bigger and more important than in bringing true healing for the patient. The patient often unwittingly hands over her power to the expert and is set up for a healing crisis down the road when this imbalanced model inevitably fails.

The shadow healer with a lack of faith in healing disempowers through doubt. This version of the shadow healer no longer believes in miracles. She delivers devastating, mounting, and sometimes permanent diagnoses. Her assessment feels like a curse more than a cure. The patient leaves feeling hopeless rather than hopeful, and disempowered rather than powerful. This healer’s cynicism infects everyone around her and causes more harm than good.

Cultivating Hope

My wish is that you have not been victimized by the shadow of the healer archetype yet, but chances are that you have. The greatest protection from this force is your own self-esteem. Know that regardless of how gifted or educated a person is, that ultimately no one knows better than you what it is like to be in your body. Trust your instincts and choose healers that listen, demonstrate humility and help you cultivate one of the most profound healing energies of all, hope.

The Greek God Chiron – A Wounded Healer

Chiron, the eldest and wisest of the centaurs, was born to a nymph named Philyra. Philyra was the mistress of the god Cronus when he took the form of a stallion. Chiron was thus a half-man, half-horse.

When Chiron’s father was discovered in his infidelity he fled. Chiron’s mother abandoned him when she prayed to escape the shame of bearing a bizarre son. She was turned into a linden tree by Chiron’s half-brother Zeus. This left Chiron orphaned. Some sources suggests that Apollo and Artemis raised Chiron as they taught him healing.

Mentored by the primary Greek god of healing, Apollo, and his twin sister Artemis, Chiron had a first class education in medicine. Chiron was not selfish with what he knew, and instead took on many pupils. He taught healing to a host of famous heroes, gods and demi-gods including Achilles, Asclepius, Hercules, Jason of Jason and the Argonauts, Actaeon, Phoenix and more.

In true wounded healer fashion, Chiron’s heart opened to another being suffering the same fate as he did. Chiron raised the orphaned Achilles with the help of his wife Chariclo.

Chiron received the wound he’s most known for when he was injured by Hercules’s poisoned arrow. The arrow bore the blood of the many-headed serpent, Hydra. Chiron never healed from the wound, as the blood of the hydra is immune to medicine. The wound also inflicted terrible pain. Eventually, Chiron sacrificed his immortality to escape the agony and free another hero named Prometheus. Chiron was memorialized as the constellation sagittarius.

The Wounded Healer Archetype

A person with the wounded healer archetype is able to draw on the experience of her own suffering to generate boundless compassion. In the shadow, this manifests as the bleeding heart that gives well beyond her capacity to people with similar woundings. In the light, this is the battle-hardened champion that is able to show up in a relevant and particular way that provides just the right remedy at the right time.

The wounded healer archetype implies an intimate understanding of agony. Sometimes the wounded healer is able to heal her own wounds and use this knowledge to help heal others. Other times, the wounded healer taps into her own suffering to channel healing energy. This energy miraculously cures others but leaves her untouched. The story of Chiron teaches us that the wounded healer does not need to be healed to be effective.

Healed or Not?

The challenge for the wounded healer archetype is the malady that is unfazed by all attempts at healing. The gift is the infinite compassion that pours forth from the same wound. A deep appreciation for the suffering of others matched with an uncanny, natural healing ability creates the wounded healer.

If you have you come through the other side of your illness and are completely healed, be careful not to think you are safe from suffering. This will harden your heart, create a callous over the wound, and prevent the free flow of grace towards those you seek to help. An acute understanding of and intimacy with your own vulnerability is key.

If you think you have the wounded healer archetype and feel you’ll never be free from your pain, take heart. This archetype carries with it a deep wisdom that teaches you how to bear the pain in the right spirit. The triumph comes when you give up endless attempts to alleviate the pain, and instead learn how to break its control over you. The most powerful person is the one that does not fear suffering. The absence of the fear of suffering turns you into a beautiful, clear channel for healing and grace.

By finding the higher purpose of humbly helping others, you can release the myth that this life and this illness is all about you. Then somehow, miraculously, you find a way through.

More about Chiron: http://www.theoi.com/Georgikos/KentaurosKheiron.html

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The work of deciphering which archetypes belong to you is so important because it challenges you to get specific about who you are. If you are interested in knowledge and passing it on, could you choose just one of these two archetypes to identify yourself? How well do you know your hunger for learning?

The mentor archetype looks a lot like the teacher because both are in the position of giving instructions, but there are many ways they differ.

Mentor Archetype

The mentor archetype not only invests in the student learning certain material, the mentor takes interest in the route the student goes with the know how. By definition, the mentor imparts advise. Advice is to “offer suggestions about the best course of action to someone” or “to give someone a recommendation about what should be done” (per Apple dictionary and Merriam-Webster dictionary respectively).

The mentor is the person you go to for help in making a decision. An empowered mentor artfully guides the student to an authentic resolution without getting the way. The student not only attains her answer, but understands how to get there on her own the next time. In the shadow, the mentor archetype becomes rigidly intent on the student following her direction and opinion. Another downfall of the mentor is giving the solution up front without letting the student work her own way there.

Intimately tied with wisdom, the mentor archetype uses experience as a teacher. She shows by doing rather than telling. She encourages the person she’s taken under her wing to try things for herself. The enlightened mentor is able to stand aside and watch mistakes. She knows that her role is not to control every move her student makes. She is there to help the mentee learn how to think for herself.

The relationship between mentor and student is one-on-one. The mentor dedicates a great amount of time to taking one student under her wing. She accepts responsibility for one student. She usually fosters that student through the entire process of learning a craft or skill. Her goal is to see her students fully fledged in the world, a master in her own right and no longer in need of advise.

Teacher Archetype

On the other hand, the teacher archetype has to do with a classroom full of students. Thus, her teaching style is more generalized than customized. This is a common point of struggle for the teacher – wanting to reach every student, but not being able to given the constraints of working with so many personalities at once. In the shadow, this is a major stressor for those with the teacher archetype. Letting go of the need for control is a critical factor for those with this archetype.

Teachers commonly take students through a phase of a learning process (such as a school year), unlike the mentor who covers the beginning, middle and end of a topic. With the teacher archetype, the focus is shifted from mastery of a subject to measurable progress in ability. One challenge of the teacher archetype can be an over-identification with student’s grades and test scores. The teacher that understands that learning is never ending is able to relax these unreasonable tendencies.

In the shadow, people with the teacher archetype can develop the annoying habit of thinking every moment is teachable and every person needs to learn something. The teacher becomes the lecturing expert and students stop listening.

Like the mentor, the teacher also prefers to teach through experience, but she understands that no two students learn alike. Some students need hands on activities, others need time to read information, and others still need to talk through things. The light aspect of the teacher archetype embodies the marvelous ability to juggle, weigh and balance all of these needs at once.

The Teacher Contains the Student

A constant student in her own right, the teacher archetype continually researches how to teach. She learns how to read her students needs and how to better meet them. She learns how to manage the classroom and teach life skills alongside algebra. The balanced teacher understands that lessons of conscience are as important as grammar lectures. The teacher archetype carries the knowing that the best way to learn something is to teach it.

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The Revered Martyr Archetype

In modern psychological terms, the martyr archetype is seen as a manipulative adversary, but her history is much more virtuous. To be a martyr used to be one of the most respected positions in society. There are countless monuments all over the world dedicated to martyrs.

To Bear Witness

The word martyr comes from the Greek word, meaning ‘witness’. To witness in this sense is a different use of the word than you may expect. The martyr is called to witness, or testify, for her beliefs. Joan of Arc was called to a trial to testify in defense of the intense visions of Saint Catherine, Saint Margaret and Archangel Michael that she received.

Today some Christian religions still practice ‘testimony’. Testimony is the public announcement of the way one converted to the faith and/or experienced God’s hand working in one’s life. The contrast between this type of testimony (or witness) and that of the martyr is that the martyr must defend her beliefs rather than have them affirmed by a congregation.

The beliefs of the martyr can be either religious or political in nature. Sometimes there is little distinction between the two, especially in cultures where church and state are inextricably intertwined.

To Sacrifice

As a result of the testimony the martyr archetype courageously professes, persecution follows. Historically, martyrs were beheaded, burned at the stake, and bound and drowned. At the very least, they were imprisoned, starved, outcast and ridiculed.

This intense suffering associated with the martyr archetype has a purpose. It helps raise awareness of injustice, ignorance, and bigotry. The torture of the martyr must be severe enough to attract the attention and sympathy of others. By invoking immense compassion, the martyr changes the hearts of a populace.

Just a few popular examples of the martyr archetype in the flesh are: St. John of the Cross (who wrote the famous Dark Night of the Soul while imprisoned for his involvement in the Carmelite Order), Joan of Arc, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Ghandi, St. Peter and St. Paul, Socrates, and Jesus Christ. Many movies and epic stories are based on true or fictional stories of the martyr archetype in action. No matter how much we say we can’t stand a martyr, we love to watch her or him on the big screen. Take the movie Braveheart for example.

To Free or Redeem

The true sacrifice of the martyr is a self-less act. The martyr offers her freedom, comfort and life so that others may be redeemed and/or liberated. It is often the case that martyrs themselves do not have the opportunity to benefit from the change their acts catalyze. However, this is not a requirement of having the martyr archetype. Nelson Mandela was able to live in a South Africa free of apartheid. A political refugee, the Dalia Lama has not been able to return to his homeland or see it liberated in his lifetime.

Martyrs are seen as heroes, but do not assume the pride and prestige those with the hero archetype experience. Heroes arrive home to a parade. Martyrs are marched to the executioner’s block. Martyrs are often called by some divine source, be it God, an angel or otherwise, that compels them into service. Through the support of some higher power or devotion to a loftier value, the martyr is able to endure great suffering.

The Disparaged Martyr Archetype

People with the martyr archetype working in the shadow tend to grasp for power rather than surrender it. Martyrdom takes playing the victim to an entirely new level. The shadow martyr inconveniences herself and goes out of her way to help others, even when they don’t ask for it. Then when she is exhausted and drained she wallows in self pity. The shadow martyr uses guilt trips to cause other people to give her the attention the martyr archetype craves.

Those who are under the spell of this powerful archetype steal the role of the scapegoat and relish in receiving the blame for other people’s actions.

Breaking Out of the Shadow

If you recognize any of these harmful patterns within yourself, here are some steps you can take. (1) Consider if the person actually needs your help (2) Ask for permission before leaping to help someone (3) Accept people’s appreciation by being satisfied with a simple “thank you” (4) Curb feelings of resentment and the urge to complain by reminding yourself that you chose to help (5) Take care of yourself.

What Does this Mean for You?

So, let’s say for argument’s sake that you are considering the martyr archetype for yourself. Maybe you recognize your sometimes wild need to throw yourself in front of other people’s trains.

It is easy in modern, plain terms to understand how the shadow patterns of this archetype play out in your life, but how can you relate to the revered, powerful and gifted side of the martyr in everyday life? You’re not looking to be burned at the stake or thrown in a dank prison cell. In fact, you quite like the life you have.

You won’t be able to outrun the higher purpose of the martyr archetype, so it’s best you learn how to wield her power.

My advice for you is to find what emboldens and impassions you. Know what lights your heart on fire. Test this against your conscience to be sure it has merit and that you will be a force for kindness and love in the world by following this path. Then, find opportunities to share, to testify, about your beliefs in circles where they may not be so well received.

Announce what lifts you up with humility, not defensiveness. Be a force for grace in adverse situations. Represent your cause well by being a messenger of peace, by considering all sides, and by opening your heart. The most compelling martyrs were oftentimes the most quiet. Do your inner work to cleanse your heart of bitterness. Find your center and place of connection with source.

Then, when the tribunal starts in question of your devotion, you’ll be ready to met the critics with such divinity that they won’t help but be transformed. Even though you may never see the change in their hearts, it is inevitable in your enduring, unwavering presence.

So go henceforth and be a force for good in the world. Heaven knows we need your help!

Photo: Painting of La Jeune Martyre (The Young Martyr) by Paul Delaroche which hangs in the Louvre Museum in Paris, France. This is an unnamed Christian martyr that Delaroche dreamed up floating in the Tiber River.

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